– John Glennon is the owner of Insight Sales Consulting Inc, an authorized Sandler Training Licensee. He can be reached at jglennon@sandler.com, toll free at 866.645.2047 or visit www.glennon.sandler.com. Copyright 2013 Sandler Training and Insight Sales Consulting Inc. All rights reserved.
SALES – Have you ever held a conversation with an employee or even a prospect when they suddenly, and for no apparent reason, became unreceptive to perfectly good advice?
Sometimes after we offer advice or insights from our own personal and organizational experience, we find ourselves in a conversation that loses momentum… or stops altogether.
So, what happened in these exchanges?
Typically, the good advice we offer in these situations sounds something like this,
“The problem is, Jim, you aren’t conducting assessment surveys on your new hires. You should incorporate a simple online questionnaire into your hiring process. Then I bet your turnover numbers would start to go down.”
Your employee or prospect may not respond well to a message like that.
Why?
Because we’re telling him what he should do – and that message is not likely to be a welcome one, no matter how much experience we have that backs it up. We’re telling Jim that what he’s doing right now isn’t what he should be doing. Even though our advice is sound and well intentioned, it’s likely Jim will interpret what we’ve put forward as an unwelcome message of judgment.
This is one of the big reasons why employees and prospects shut down communications with others…
Messages that state judgment or bias about what is right or wrong, good or bad, what one should or shouldn’t do, and what is acceptable and what isn’t, are likely to trigger emotional responses from the listener.
Those responses can range from compliance (which may carry with it some degree of resentment) to rebellion, neither of which are desirable or conducive to the rapport and trust you are working to establish in a discussion.
Rather than tell someone what to do or how to act, you can frame the message around a helpful suggestion or a point for consideration.
For example:
Judgmental: Helpful:
You should… You may find more value in…
You should have… Had you considered…?
You shouldn’t… It might not help to…
Don’t do… You may want to consider…
You missed the point. Have you considered…?
Listen to me. May I suggest…?
So, instead you may consider saying to Jim,
“In addition to what you’re doing now, Jim, you might find value in conducting some basic assessment surveys on your new hires. If you were to incorporate a simple online questionnaire into your hiring process, those high turnover numbers might start to go down.”
Consider framing your advice as a helpful, neutral partner, someone who avoids judgmental messages.
Using this approach, you may well find that it’s easier to keep the conversation moving forward, easier to make your advice accessible, easier to keep the employee or prospect engaged.